Dear People with Children;

This is a relaxing environment. And while kids are so cute, fun to dress up, say the darnedest things, have amazing smiles, touch everything with their sticky hands, yell for no apparent reason, lick things, move furniture that doesn't belong to them, and touch every possible glass surface with the sticky fingers... this environment is not the best for them. We are a relaxing environment. And while I cannot imagine what it is like to have 3 of these precious bundles of joy.... maybe you need to hire someone to watch them so you do not have to bring them everywhere you go and drive yourself crazy. It really is no wonder why you so desperately need this relaxing environment.

Be selfish. Be selfish. Please. Your bundles of joy will appreciate you more. Fact.

And the guests that have taken themselves away from their joy will also appreciate the tranquility they so desperately seek.

I'm just sayin'