You are being watched!!!!!!!!!!!

An unnamed source recently told me that she was being watched at work.

What does this really mean?
Is her boss in love with her? Does her boss want to know her every move because her boss has nothing to do? Do 'they' enjoy the way her hair flows when she walks? I mean, come on people. What do you hope to gain from, "you are being watched". If that was me, (and it isn't because I would name myself) I would purposely do things to get into trouble. Just to see how closely they were watching. Such as, but not limited to, while in the ladies lavatory, I would facebook and twitter about nonsense as I stood near the hand dryer. I would park my car and walk AS slow as possible to see if anyone noticed. I would engage in conversations with myself to see if I would be questioned.

I will keep you updated on the saga this is "The Watched One".

Car Service Dude

Yesterday I took my car in for service. I had 3 recalls and was not about to let my car run away with me in, as some other brands have done recently. I took precaution and quickly got my car looked at.

I knew that I would be sitting for a while and chose to bring my breakfast, a book and some other essential items to occupy my time while I sat. Unfortunately for me I used none of them, because Maury was on and I needed to know if 'he was the father.' Because I had packed for the unknown, I had brought my new favorite bag, the teal colored Big Buddha... This bag screams, fun, summer, hip and although its color does not go with every outfit, I love it even more! Besides the new Valentino I bought myself this is the one of the loves of my life...

Anyhow, I have the purse on the counter, and as I shuffle through it to look for the recall letters the gentleman behind the counter, says "cute bag."

I continue to shuffle and pretend to not realize that he is working at the counter of the car service department. He is surrounded by men who are covered in oil. Men who have full body tattoo's.

Apparently this statement is not heard by any other person than myself. And that is too bad as I laughed about it for at least 4 hours.

I do enjoy being cut off while speaking, can't you tell?

Dear person who cut me off while I was speaking;

By the look on my face and the change in tone of my voice I am quite sure that you realize cutting me off while in mid-sentence is RUDE. I'm unsure of the need to do such a thing to another person, and to be completely honest I am convinced you are a jerk.

The point of a conversation is for more than 1 individual to speak. Clearly you have yet to master this concept yet and I was lucky enough to experience this.

Please go away and never return. I have no desire to see you again.

Cheers!

ummmmm. duh?

Person walking in the door: Is this #140 Drive Turnpike?
Me: No its #26. whats the name of the business you are are looking for?
Person: I do not know.
Me: Well that might help you find your location, no?
person: I guess.

~~~~~~~~~~
Are you kidding me? Will the insanity every end? Let's review:

You are looking for a business of some sort. Apparently you know enough about this business to have its address. How did you get the address if you do not know the name of the business? Did you not have to have the name of the business to LOOK UP THE ADDRESS?

This is what is wrong with the world. Dumb people, everywhere.

Make a FRIGGIN decision

Dear Guest;

This is not a used car dealership. In fact, its something quite amazingly wonderful and good for you. I am unclear why you need to think so much about this and why you need to have a group discussion. Its a simple choice. Take time for yourself or don't. There are some choices that we make in life that seem much harder, I shall give examples:

1. Move across the country for a job.
2. Coke or Pepsi
3. What color car to buy
4. What nail polish color to do this week

Taking time for yourself is not a hard decsion. In fact, the world would be a much happier friggin place if you just said YES. Fact.

Lets recap, I have found a way that you can take a mini-vacation at least once a month, where you can turn OFF your cellular device. Where you are are forced to tell someone else to take care of you. Where you get YOU time.

What's the issue? I don't get it.

Fact.

Dear People with Children;

This is a relaxing environment. And while kids are so cute, fun to dress up, say the darnedest things, have amazing smiles, touch everything with their sticky hands, yell for no apparent reason, lick things, move furniture that doesn't belong to them, and touch every possible glass surface with the sticky fingers... this environment is not the best for them. We are a relaxing environment. And while I cannot imagine what it is like to have 3 of these precious bundles of joy.... maybe you need to hire someone to watch them so you do not have to bring them everywhere you go and drive yourself crazy. It really is no wonder why you so desperately need this relaxing environment.

Be selfish. Be selfish. Please. Your bundles of joy will appreciate you more. Fact.

And the guests that have taken themselves away from their joy will also appreciate the tranquility they so desperately seek.

I'm just sayin'

Taco Stand

My dream is to run a taco stand on the beach someplace. I will have cook, his name will be Jose De La Sexy Face. He will wear banana leafs to reel in the ladies on vacation and lure them into our web of tacos and guacamole. I will use fresh ingredients that we just caught and have grown ourselves.

I will drink fun cocktails with small umbrellas and wear SPF 90. I will nap on hammocks and feel the cool salty air on my face and smile, beacause this is my LIFE.

Why a taco stand? Well, I love a taco and I LOVE salsa and I really, really, really want to wear flip flops on a daily basis. More importantly I really want to make my own hours. Because who eats tacos at 9am? No one. This means I can sleep in until whenever and work the lunch crowd, as Jose De La Sexy Face reels in the women. I can do bartending tricks with clients lemonade. I've seen this in my dream and it just makes sense. This is what it is about.

There just has to be a better way. I can't believe that this is what its all about. After all, if a soul dies in a cubicle, does anyone really notice????